“Suicide, ending your own life, is a tragic reaction to stressful life situations,” explains Mayoclinic. Suicide does not discriminate by age, gender, social position or ethnicity, so it is important to know how to identify the warning signs that a person shows when they have thought about taking their own life. In this way, you could save a life.
If you are someone who believes that there is no solution to your problems and that the only way to end the pain is suicide, there are other measures you can consider.
If a friend or family member talks about suicide
It can be distressing and confusing if someone close to you tells you that they are thinking about ending their life or says things that make you think about suicide. You may not know what to do to help.
Psychology experts recommend taking the conversation seriously and putting aside the idea that talking about suicide with someone at risk is encouraging them to commit suicide.
“It has been proven that talking about suicide with a person at such risk, rather than provoking or introducing the idea into their head, reduces the risk of committing suicide and may be the only possibility offered for the analysis of their self-destructive intentions,” says Sergio Morataya, a psychiatrist.
It’s best to ask direct questions about the topic to get the conversation started. For example, How are you coping with what’s been going on in your life? Do you sometimes feel like giving up? Do you think about death, about hurting yourself? Do you think about suicide, how you would do it? When and where?
Many times, when asked these questions, the person tends to cry without saying a word, lower their head, look at the ground, suddenly become silent due to the question itself, frown, and appear restless or distressed.
Emma Carrington, a spokesperson for Rethink UK, a mental health charity in the UK, tells the BBC that there is no right or wrong way to talk about suicidal feelings because it is a difficult conversation. The most important thing is to focus on the other person and give them as much attention as possible, by putting away your phone or any other distractions. Also, make sure you both have enough time to talk.
As this is a difficult topic, be patient, as it may take a long time – and several attempts – before the person wants to talk. Be very clear that you should not give advice or offer solutions if the other person does not ask for it. Also, do not interfere with your own ideas about how the other person may be feeling.
Daniela Ortiz, representative for the global network of suicidologists for Guatemala, explains that psychologists or suicidologists do not give advice to their patients, they only listen to them, so neither should someone who is not an expert on the subject.
“Someone with suicidal thoughts is tired of hearing that life is beautiful and that everything will pass. It is very likely that he thinks that life is beautiful for you because you are not going through the same thing as him. If you tell him that life is nice and worth living, he may think that it is nice for you to live because he has a job, but he has been looking for work for more than a year and has not found one. That is why the ideal is not to advise, not to judge. Lend him your shoulder to cry on, listen to him and seek professional help for him,” she says.
After listening, make sure the other person knows where to seek professional help. Also, don’t promise confidentiality. It’s best to seek help from family and loved ones, but everyone should show respect and value the individual’s feelings.
Multiple causes
Although there is a close link between suicide and mental disorders such as depression, there are many causes that can lead a person to take their own life. That is why it is said that suicide is multi-causal, since each person may have different reasons.
The World Health Organization says many suicides occur impulsively during times of crisis that undermine the ability to cope with life’s stresses, such as financial problems, relationship breakups, or chronic pain and illness.
Furthermore, experiences of conflict, disaster, violence, abuse, loss and isolation are closely linked to suicidal behaviour. Suicide rates are also high among vulnerable groups subject to discrimination, such as refugees and migrants, indigenous people and LGBTIQ+ people.
Warning signs
Often, a friend or family member does not come forward to ask for help directly. However, there are verbal and non-verbal signs that may indicate that they are thinking about suicide. If they are detected in time, attempts can be made to prevent suicide.
It is important to know if the person who is considered to be thinking about suicide has experienced a significant event, either in the present or in the not-too-distant past. For example, the death of a loved one, the end of a romantic or professional relationship, increased debt, or chronic illness. This could help you understand what they are going through.
Here are some signs that you may be having suicidal thoughts:
- Talking about suicide; for example, making statements like “I’m going to kill myself,” “I wish I were dead,” or “I’m going to stop bothering people,” “everyone will soon be able to stop caring about me,” or “if God would take me back it would be perfect.”
- Withdrawal from social life and desire to be alone.
- Having mood swings, such as going from being elated one day to being deeply discouraged the next.
- Worrying about death, dying, or violence.
- Feeling hopeless or helpless in the face of a situation.
- Increase alcohol or drug consumption.
- Experiencing changes in your normal routine, for example, changes in your diet such as eating too much or too little. Changing your sleeping schedule.
- Doing risky or self-destructive things, such as using drugs or driving recklessly.
- Giving away your belongings or leaving your affairs in order when there is no logical reason to do so.
- Saying goodbye to people as if the farewell were final.